caitlinbrooke93

THe hollow beating The shreaded vesseels The pain remaining From the heart break you gaveI cry in scilence Because the healing hurts It breaks once again when you kiss her The frozen ice that forms my heart Is thawing when healing But then i see you It freezes again My memories of you are locked in my heart So whenever i start to thaw I remember you and start to freeze Well i ever thaw Will i ever love again Im afraid not

Im a bipolar child. No one seems to understand I have raging moodswings I just want to beaccepted Theres no excape What can i say? I want friends who understands what's it like To have no impulse control what can i do? hide in shadows? I want to be in the light I do stupid things for attention I want to actually have someone thats not family to care for me I friend. a soulmate, damn even a little child i love little kids, but their parents rush to them and wisks them away What can i do?

Every day goes by as if i did something right I never do anything right I am hidden in a shell of my life I hide behind a smile on a bright smiling face When i take a shower I feel in a trance The water thats already hot enough just isnt hot enough bo make me feel the burn. The burn of pain releasing The shower water gets hotter and hotter. I burn my back until My back is numb I think of relaxation while my back is in agonizing pain. I love it. The burning sensation is a gift from god The way it burns and makes me beat red. I love it I itch in pain from a heat rash often Teelling myself to stop BUt when im in that shower

I loved you My heart is shreaded to pieces My life is over with out you But now... I love you for leaving me New chances come to my mind

Father forgive me for i have sinned I crammed the knife down his throat I see it in my sleep I smile to the twisting words For this i hope to defeat I laugh with tears rolling down his face In my dreams its true to the bone In life im pushed around I twisted his words and slashed his throat I carved my name by is heart So he will remember my name I carved a pentogram into his forehead to remind him of my true father, Satan I saw blood So, Father forgive me, nah This was all a quest to return to my home HELL

I go to church every day I sit and stay and bow and pray   But somehow i am am mischievous little girl So bow down to me this big wide world. I break things and smash things I am an angel though to you it seems I steal and cheat at your games Soon ill be on wall of fame I lie to your face and cry to make you sad Oh poorest me i am so bad! I have you wrapped around my thumb And make you act totally dumb I laugh at you just for fun To make you mad, theres more to be done. But for now i abide you farewell But remember this don't tell...

Im just so angry Imnever like this Your always in my way, you know Being the perfect child that they call you Well guess what i can see right through you the angel, well guess what? Im hear now Im the one who will show youre phoniness You are a lying little boy I hate people like you getting people to take your side popular, whatever... I am an outcast but guess what? I am the one who will be the one on top in the end so... get used to it

Im happy here Im mad there I cry I smile But why? Its like an alternite personality when i say I have bipolar disorder everyone leaves It sucks I want friends to love me for me i dont want them to feel sorry for me i dont want friends stabing me in the back I want to be normal I want to be a good little girl but what am i stuck with? Bipolar disorder. I want freedom i want friends i just want to be excepted... help me...

I am a girl whos missunderstood I love others for... what can i love them for? Medication? Hate? It makes me hate you even more why should i live? I am young I am strong But to you i dont belong i belong with those who are shunned You belong on the pedestal of a god damn "angel" i just want to be loved for me, as I am I just want to live but you all shread this world so how can I? Hate, Love, missunderstanding You tear me apart, like i have no heart. How can i live when angels sing i am not wanted with the turmoil of our youth, how can we survive?